We had another poorly attended coaching call last Monday on our ExtRAWdinary Life Course.
... and always the same voices. I do understand some people's non-appearance, though. Karen is distant from us in many ways. I didn't expect her to be - yet I kind of understand that too...
I'm not sure if this is her intention. For instance, when I wrote in to ask about her categories for her own journal (that she had been encouraging us at length to do for ourselves) all she was willing to say on that topic, was that hers was similar to the layout of the Diet Programme Journal (which she had sent us).
She added that she used the Living Magically on Raw journal, however, which we did not have, and was 'the best journal, ever!'. C'mon dude!...I just asked for a few suggested categories. Jeeez Louise! ; )
She then said how much she would looove to have me on the Living Magically on Raw course. Nice... But not what I was looking for.
It smacked, just a tad, of a sales pitch. I even understood that, I have to admit. I mean, the gals got a job to do.
Gosh! I'm so full of understanding these days! Must be all the coaching...
She is great though - I have to say. I love her open hearted, girl-next- door honesty and Libran charm.
I said I'd consider joining LMOR next year and went and read up on it. It looks like it could be more of the same, to me, which would be great. That is, if I hadn't already got somewhere on this course and I had the money to keep throwing at my lack of ability to kick my own butt ; ).
Afterwards, I was a bit disappointed in the way she replied to that question.
The coaching call was great, though, and if I could make the late hours, I would benefit a lot more from them. Getting some live interaction and coaching in real-time would have been a big, fat, bonus on this course. Alas, it is too late for the likes of me. I get up to meditate at 4:00 am. So I need to be in bed by 10. Latest.
One of my friends on the course said she felt abandoned and out of touch. She added "It 's probably just a projection of my own unresolved feelings of abandonment that have nothing to do with Karen." I think in some ways this could be true.
As soon as I started to notice I was feeling neglected or ignored, I had to ask myself what it was that I really wanted out of this experience. What I know I don't need, is someone to spoon feed me every step of the way. I want to feel changed after this year, inspired to go further with all my personal goals and enriched with new insights into myself. I am the only person who is going to make that happen for me. Also, I am not about to waste the investment I made in this course, just because it isn't turning into a cozy tea party.
Since then, I must say, things have improved.
Ultimately. this is what I wanted out of a coaching relationship - a growing sense independence and the strength and courage to be autonomous, not to find myself locked into a co-dependent relationship.
However, having said all that, this course isn't real coaching, in the true sense of the word. I think one would probably need 1:1 discussion for that to really 'happen'.
I am actually getting a lot of value, from a man I am not in a coaching relationship with at present. A man who's audio's I simply love. like rich chocolate ice-cream. He has the most beautiful voice and way of speaking. It is like he takes each word and places it gently and thoughtfully into my head and heart, where it takes root and flowers quietly with time. His name is Michael Neill. His newsletter and blog are a continual refreshment of what I know to be true, a hearty meal of good wholesome words, with the addition of sweet epiphanies for dessert!
Arnold Patent has also been a beacon of light on my current path, exploring the Human Experience. He provides some mind-bending perception on money and the Money Game.
Companions on the Path
I am also eternally grateful to the other two women I have connected with via the Life course - for each one's encouragement, wisdom and inspiring quests. It is a delicious blessing to bear witness to what someone else is struggling with and hoping to achieve. The 'free gift' I receive, is being continually surprised by the mirror they provids of my own self perception. It helps me feel not quite as isolated in my quest for reaching beyond a' normal' life. I am encouraged to 'get on', knowing that my progress in turn encourages them. We are re-cycling the good stuff -passing it on, handing it around, keeping it flowing!
The Green Way
I just finished watching a movie called Limitless - Robert De Niro and Bradley Cooper (very violent in parts, which I try to avoid in movies) There was something about the way the movie depicted this man's experience on a brain function enhancing chemical, that reminded me of what it feels like when I eat a 100% raw diet for an extended period of time. My determination became totally re-ignited to get to that state again - starting NOW.
I realized, that it is that particular thing about raw food energy, that keeps me coming back to a high raw diet, whenever I have slumped in any way. Physically, emotionally or mentally.
The feeling is literally one of being limitless - like a serene Goddess, with laser sharp focus, yet an inner balance of untouchable poise.
It is so exciting to be reminded that this exquisite state is within my reach to experience again. It takes only 3-4 days of extreme wholesome eating (mostly green juices, smoothies and salads) and I am there again. I want to climb back up to that liquid sunshine experience of existence.
Watch this space for Goddess-like behaviour ; )
I have been guilty of not looking at what I have achieved but what I have not. In so doing I have let that disappointment scatter my focus, sending me in all directions.
Fortunatley we had an unexpected gift of a nearly free holiday in a little village with hot springs for a whole week. Fresh juices, hot water under the cloudy skies, mountain walks and no agenda but to FEEL GOOD.
I find journaling an invaluable tool, and like the idea of designing a page that prompts you to answer certain questions about your day. One is then more likely to keep at it for longer and be more consistent with it. Mine tend to be half journal/ half diary/ half TO DO list!!
Does anyone do this and want to share how you categorize or lay out your journal/diary?
I think an important realization for me has been to have more faith in my own innate Higher Self and Her Guidance.
Looking back on this year - where I have let go of my strict agenda and tuned into my inner Knowledge, trusting that there is an all enveloping LOVE that surrounds me that will NOT let me down - things fall into place easily.
I have found a UK agent who loves my work to license my art and illustration
My website is done and growing better every week.
I have my own etsy shop and started making sales. http://issimya.etsy.com/
I bought my own dehydrator
I started my book and have secured a creative partnership with Arnold Patent using his principles in my book : )
I exercise daily. Yoga, dancing for an hour in my lounge or a forest run/walk with the dogs.
My first article was accepted by Ezine Articles
STILL TO COME:
My book proposal done and sent to publishers
A signed contract with licensing agent
A trip to India
My SALVAGED Series accepted in a chain of Green Home stores nationwide (SA)
A coaching model worked out for transition/transformation coaching
My issiMya stationery and fabric products printed and distributed nationwide
A Design Indaba stand secured for my issiMya fabric and stationery range
My Boundless Possibility Blog enriched with interviews and interactive promotions.
Instead of feeling the need to swim I am finding it easier to surf. I have my goals in mind all the time - but I am not forcing my way towards them. I trust that there is a current of energy taking me in their direction.
My job is to stay on the board and be open to all opportunities, focus on the task at hand while checking that the wave is still taking me where I want to go. Small little adjustments are needed by me only; in my daily attitude, my choices of food, my thoughts and what I keep busy with. If those come from a place of love and appreciation I can rest assured that I am going in the right direction.
I am learning:
To REGULARLY count my blessings and my achievements.
To practice GRATITUDE in my daily interactions with others.
To recognize a thought as just a thought - not reality. If I can change a thought about something - I can change everything.
I wanted to do a juice only fast for the weekend to help me tackle all my projects at once...I love green juice feasts for the speedy way they gives me instant energy and super green mental powers ; )
Especially when it comes to creativity. But alas! I am now on anti-biotics!! First time in over a decade!
The Doc says till Friday, otherwise he cannot work on my tooth and then hopefully I can stop taking them. I have had sleepless nights restlessly fighting pain and throbbing shards of white hot agony right into the bones of my face. One thing I got from this excruciating experience: I managed to get a glimpse of how concentrated meditation can actually remove you from pain. It reminds me of childbirth - where you just eventually surrender to the possibility of dying from physical suffering. And then you seem to MOVE RIGHT THROUGH IT.
Very illuminating - exhilirating actually. If I could just keep it up.
I have unfortunatley succumed to an excess of my favourite comfort foods: raw choc, avo's, oats and dates, almonds and raisins and oh dear - buttery vegan muffins : (
I was so drugged up on pain killers I honestly had NO WILL POWER. I still feel weird and fragile and comfortably numb...specially now that the antibiotics are kicking in. What a strange thing to happen suddenly.
According to Louise Hay: TOOTHACHE = Being indecisive, not being able to break down ideas for analysis and decisions. Root Canal = Root beliefs being destroyed. Can't bite into it anymore.
Both these resonate with me. As I'm sure you can tell from previous posts : /
This month of Karen's coaching on money (from Kendall Summerhawk's Money Breakthrough Method) , the extra audio by Arnold Patent that I bought as well as Sandy Fosters book have all had their share in destroying some root beliefs. Yippeeee!
AND Celebration!! During my sleepless night I came up with the content for my entire book!! Right through the throbbing pain and wooziness, a calm part of my creative brain just carried on excitedly putting it all together.! Our minds are truly awesome things.
So juice fast or not- one miracle has happened!
I started doing the outline/plan this morning and looking forward to plotting out the contents page so that I have bite size chunks to work on : )
These are a selection from a series of photographs that were also the result of me wanting to capture images to paint, then realizing that the images were just so lovely as is. Why bother trying to paint them at all??
I wrote something REALLY HONEST on Facebook yesterday, straight from my journal.
"Realizing that there is no-one to talk to. About the real stuff that's going on. I am withdrawing and withdrawing from others as I start truly living this Life. Understanding that everything is the SELF. Responding only with LOVE to all. This is my biggest challenge now..."
I posted it without my usual censor and editing and internal waffle that always jumps up to stop me baring my soul in words...the way I like to...the way I want to see others do...the way communication should be. TRUE. it felt good and clean and I realised that this change in my need to express, mirrors the honest un-manipulated pieces of the SALVAGED series I am working on right now....
I keep wanting to do something clever to them, add something, manipulate the visual - but I stop myself. It is what it is.
Perfectly natural imperfection.
"Calling back my thoughts - every minute.
Calling back my spirit.
I'm making displays of God's creations.
Little sea snail shells - bleached white by the sun, in row upon row - white on white. Pearlescent sheen and matt white - calming to the eye.
Like natural science specimens. Neatly, thoughtfully placed.
Crabs claws, leaves laced by weather - rain then sun then rain then sun. Eaten away gently exposing the leaf bone. So delicate the decay.
Eucalyptus pods, shards, vintage bottles from a very old dump outside a Karoo town. Brought to light by torrential rains and mud slides."
My favourite companions while I work. Rich green juice and raw chocolate mousse.
RAW Choc a la Moi:
half a large creamy avo/vanilla/cinnamon/5 fat shmooshy dates/salt/dash of cayenne pepper/2 table spoons of raw cacao powder/ about two tblspns tahini/a handful of powdered almonds/ a third of a cup of water and blend till mousse-y and devour with strawberries : )
I see these box framed, white and glass.
This series started because I wanted to photograph them, to paint them. But painting them is futile. They have to be seen to be believed, to be appreciated, admired, to create the necessary awe.
Their jewel-like delicacy and attention to the finest details needs to be focused on to the exclusion of all other distraction.
It is incredible how much there is of all these exquisitely fine components. Tons of lacy leaves, tons of white spiral shells, big to tiny. Tons of bleached crab claws, speckled leaves, pods, everything. Nothing needs to be killed to make these collections.
I am just the curator of Gods gorgeous stuff.
She has showered the natural spaces with masses of collectible beauty.
I just go on treasure hunts and pick the pieces I can't resist.