Little Things
O.K. it's not a big day in anyone else's eyes except mine and my little boy Jude (7). He went to his first day of new school today. It was hard-for both of us. But he did well-considering his wobbly mother who was having stomache cramps, the endlessly long Assembly meeting where they called him up to the front (the thing he hates the most) and when he saw me he started to cry. Oh dear! Separation anxiety issues came flooding in for both of us. i love that little guy.
Needless to say-not ten minutes after I had left, the teacher let me know that he was laughing and playing the giddy goat with a new found friend.
March 2011
The Connection between Spirit and Money
Submitted by Leila on 28 March 2011 - 11:35amPrayer is Asking -Meditation is Receiving
Ok. Confession time... I only did that prayer for one day 95 times.
The next day I kind of remembered it every now and then.
That evening, I noticed that the beautiful prayer I use in meditation had been resurfacing in my mind with a magnetic pull ever since starting the 95 times prayer.
I knew immediately, that this was the prayer I should be focused on -it was given to me by a Living Master for whom I have the deepest and utmost respect and love. I suddenly understood that it isn't the words so much, but where the words take you emotionally. They inspire a peace beyond all understanding.
What I learnt from doing the 95 times prayer is to do it with intense focus and willingness to BE THERE in receptive mode - that is the key - words are irrelevant, unless they have connotations that you particularly love and help you to focus. My meditation prayer does just that - only better- it puts me in a receptive mode so that I am not just asking but willing to receive. So I meditated with far more focus and dedication for the next four days.
5 days later, as Robyn had predicted...I received a call that I had sold two large paintings. It was a substantial amount (for me at the moment : ) ) that has giving me renewed belief in my ability to flow with creative success. After that, I dwindled with my meditation and even my diet went a little off kilter.
Now, I am reassessing what is important to focus on.
I want to acknowledge how and why dedication to my spiritual path affects my receptivity to the money that I can generate. It may sound weird to some - but for me, I need to feel totally happy with my Spirit connection for the rest of my life to flow with ease.
So, first is my Divine Connection to Source, or, as the my friend who follows the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous always says; to the 'God of my understanding'.
Second is dedicated time and awareness to what I put into my body: 100% Fresh Living Foods.I need to look at why I went a bit wobbly with eating (yesterday, after hearing about the Japan earthquake which mirrored a meditation vision I had in my 20's ) and how I can resolve the need to numb pain like that.
Third, is how I show up in the world of money: what I make, or am involved in in any way has to be in 100% alignment with my Spirit and my personality. I can't try and be something I am not, at the same time I need to keep moving out of comfort zones that are keeping me back from achieving long held dreams or desires.
In Ask and It Is Given by Abraham/ Hicks, they put it beautifully and it is a book worth reading. The gist of what they are saying in my words; we are here to fulfill our endless desires, they are all lined up outside your door. So open the door and let them in. We keep the fruits of our wishing and wanting away by feeling bad about having the desires in the first place. But that is like not eating the food you have made because you feel bad for feeling hungry! You can't take the hunger away by denying the body food, you have to make the food good wholesome stuff that will feed your real nutritional needs and the hunger will go.
So it is with desires: turning those desires into actions that will take you closer to God and keep you focused on your real purpose for BE-ing here, turns your desires from nagging selfish wanting into uplifting tools for your further enlightenment and progress on the path.
I finally realised after my phone chat with Karen- The Raw Food Coach, that money is my spiritual energy in a material manifestation!! whoaw! I'm not sure if I told you this, but I had a long held desire fulfilled when I was given the chance to talk with Karen Knowler on a private phone call from England in connection with training as a raw food coach. We chatted way over time, and I badgered her with all kinds of questions and concerns. She was full of insights and a calm confidence - it was a renewed inspiration to keep following my dream of getting to her level of accomplishment within my own life.
I want to acknowledge how and why dedication to my spiritual path affects my receptivity to the money that I can generate. It may sound weird to some - but for me, I need to feel totally happy with my Spirit connection for the rest of my life to flow with ease.
So, first is my Divine Connection to Source, or, as the my friend who follows the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous always says; to the 'God of my understanding'.
Second is dedicated time and awareness to what I put into my body: 100% Fresh Living Foods.I need to look at why I went a bit wobbly with eating (yesterday, after hearing about the Japan earthquake which mirrored a meditation vision I had in my 20's ) and how I can resolve the need to numb pain like that.
Third, is how I show up in the world of money: what I make, or am involved in in any way has to be in 100% alignment with my Spirit and my personality. I can't try and be something I am not, at the same time I need to keep moving out of comfort zones that are keeping me back from achieving long held dreams or desires.
In Ask and It Is Given by Abraham/ Hicks, they put it beautifully and it is a book worth reading. The gist of what they are saying in my words; we are here to fulfill our endless desires, they are all lined up outside your door. So open the door and let them in. We keep the fruits of our wishing and wanting away by feeling bad about having the desires in the first place. But that is like not eating the food you have made because you feel bad for feeling hungry! You can't take the hunger away by denying the body food, you have to make the food good wholesome stuff that will feed your real nutritional needs and the hunger will go.
So it is with desires: turning those desires into actions that will take you closer to God and keep you focused on your real purpose for BE-ing here, turns your desires from nagging selfish wanting into uplifting tools for your further enlightenment and progress on the path.
I finally realised after my phone chat with Karen- The Raw Food Coach, that money is my spiritual energy in a material manifestation!! whoaw! I'm not sure if I told you this, but I had a long held desire fulfilled when I was given the chance to talk with Karen Knowler on a private phone call from England in connection with training as a raw food coach. We chatted way over time, and I badgered her with all kinds of questions and concerns. She was full of insights and a calm confidence - it was a renewed inspiration to keep following my dream of getting to her level of accomplishment within my own life.
I told her I was having issues with pursuing spiritual consciousness vs material gains and she said: ok let me flip this around for you, what if I said to you: the more money I have, the closer I am to God? I laughed. It just burst out of me, because the premise sounded so ridiculously at odds in my paradigm of worldy vs spiritual. She didn't laugh. She just quietly said: Well, it's true. In my life, the more money I have, the more I am in constant communication with God. I am checking in and asking for guidance all the time. I'm not frivolously using it all on myself either, most of it goes back into more of my work.
She also said she had the exact same issue with the concept and she believes it has a past life connection. She says those of us with this deep seated issue around money were in some kind of spiritual work eg nun/monk/priest/yogi etc and we took a vow against material wealth because we could only see it pulling us away from our spiritual goals. So, she says it is important for us to come to the realisation that money is neutral and you put your spiritual or worldy desires into action with it.
Those are my words , but the gist of what she was saying. It was great to think about it that way...
SO if I'm an artist, why do I write?
Journaling is the ONLY way I have managed to keep track of the health of my Spirit, Heart and mind and at the same time learn about my patterns in both food and relationships.
Writing helps me to get clear on what I want instead of just haphazardly creating.
So I continue on...
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The Prayer Challenge
Submitted by Leila on 28 March 2011 - 11:16amOK, so a LOT has been happening. I have been eating a 100% raw diet for about 10 days now, as I decided that having joined Karen Knowlers Your ExtRAWdinary Life programme - I should really get back to the origins of it all.
I had forgotten how it feels to be Superwoman. I wanted that again. I got it. I can't quite explain what it is about this way of eating - and I'm sure you've heard it all before - but if you haven't there is plenty of information online.
Here are some links:
http://www.beautifulonraw.com/
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/02/raw-food-diet/
http://www.thebestofrawfood.com/
My aim with this coaching was to get myself completely sorted out in the head-like a neatly packed cupboard. I just wanted someone to come in and show me how I should pack everything for more efficiency and success. Someone to guide me as to how to decide what to throw out and what to keep. Eating a living foods diet is the super-fuel that makes the whole journey go into warp speed and beyond my wildest dreams.
I t makes me feel invincible, high on life, powerful, calm, strong, peaceful, loving, gorgeous, angelic and telepathic. What more could I want?
Well so far, the results of the coaching are surprising (personal discoveries and changes) and dramatic. I just had to interrupt this writing to make supper....and damn! I had some of the cooked food I was preparing for Jude and Brian...mashed potato and butternut and a veggie sausage. eeeeek! Why is it that whenever I write that - about being 100% raw I go and ditch it like that?? It's kind of odd. Some psychological thing-rebellion maybe? Who knows.
Anyway, the magic and miracles are never ending around here, so I will no doubt soon understand even this about myself and have a better handle on it. *sigh* I can feel the heaviness in my stomach already from the potato and butter.
Good-bye Wonderwoman...for now... : (
Maybe I just needed to get heavy so I could stay with this post-I've taken aaaages to get to writing!!
Part of our coaching is around money issues. I have noticed that the more I focus on my willingness to face any money issues I have and deal with them-the more useful tools I am attractingcoaching to assist me in melting away the blockages to allowing money to flow in and out of my life with ease.
TWO MONEY WOUND HEALING EXERCISES THAT WORK:
1. Write down 50 ways you can make money
Yes, 50. Keep going through all of them even things you don't want to do. you wont have to do them, just be willing to face them on the page!! I t does interesting things to your world...
2. Write a love letter to Money as if it is someone you are having a relationship with. This one is SUPER POWERFUL. I cried. That is always a sign of deep release of issues for me. And the shifts come thick and fast after this!
My dear friend Robyn, who I haven't seen for an age, wrote me an email with what she called a powerful prayer that had to be repeated 95 times a day for 5 days and was guaranteed to get manifesting results. Cute, I thought, Christians getting all new agey??. So I read it and this was it:
"Who can remove difficulties save God? Praise be God. He is God. All are his servants and abide by his bidding."
Wow. I was amazed. I don't quite know what I imagined it would be, but this was so beautiful and simple and true. I resolved to do it. My goal was to start the income ball rolling with gusto. I want to make a lot of money in a short space of time to pay off my credit card debt and invest in the coach training and business building coaching I need to kick start my raw food/creativity renewal retreat business. I also want to support my husband in paying a substantial amount on a deposit for buying our piece of paradise on earth in Darling or surrounding area.
I want Karen's training because she is a spiritually conscious person who I admire for having maintained her spirit connection and honesty, integrity and accessibility- in fact, strengthened it, while growing herself from nothing to a multi millionaire and being a single mom at the same time!!
So, I wrote it down and repeated it 95 times. I kid you not. By half way through I had to start marking it off on a paper so as not to lose track. I also had to read it as I kept forgetting the order of the wording. Then I started to feel light-headed and that feeling of withdrawal that one gets in deep meditation. My eyes very badly wanted to close. I ploughed through 95 like a stoic nun. Something interesting was happening. The more I said those words, the more I relaxed and accepted their Truth. Surrender. I felt a deep peace and acceptance and knowledge that ALL IS WELL and AS IT SHOULD BE. That is the only way I can explain it in mere words. So I'm going to say my prayer for 5 more days and see what happens.
Anyone out there want to join me? Let's see what we can report in 5 days time...
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Why You Yo-Yo on a Raw Diet & How To Stop
Submitted by Leila on 28 March 2011 - 11:12am
I have been on Karen Knowlers Your ExtRAWdinary Life Course for only a month and the changes and revelations are coming thick and fast.
I had serious issues with doing one bit of homework - My Vision for 2011. Having complained about it a few times on the forum, I got such kind support and suggestions that I felt instantly that it was ok and I would get there soon.
The best piece of advice was to do juices for a few days to get really raw inspiration.
By then I had already started...I did the really raw thing, just forced myself to, I have to admit, and it bore fruit; I now have a beautiful set of vision cards...
All I had to stop eating was goats cheese feta and the occasional slice of whole wheat toast (and the butter on it, of course), I am otherwise eating totally raw, fresh, organic, living foods.
But it was so hard to just let go of those!!I had to force myself, because after a few years of eating a high raw diet, one can become a bit complacent (?) or just so used to feeling good that you forget that you used to feel fantastic.
You forget that you can actually feel super good. Instead one falls into a pattern of yo-yoing around with some very stodgy poisonous playmates who do not mean well, however good they look. I'm not sure why we yo-yo so much, specially women, but I have a few ideas;
the obvious one: hormonal shifts during the month
self medicating emotional pain
allowing yourself to get too hungry to think straight
being unprepared food-wise
not getting a balance of nutrients from the raw food you do eat
not understanding your mood patterns
not allowing enough indulgence into the good stuff **
I can dwindle down to eating bananas and brazil nuts with about 4 green juices in a day and then have this terrible craving for salty buttered starch by the evening.
I have successfully isolated the evening time as my red flag hour (or two) in my mood pattern. This is the worst time for cravings.
Being unprepared at this time as well as experiencing a hormonal shift, some small emotional incident and having allowed myself to get too hungry and ..voila!
I stuff myself with something baked and buttery and then have heartburn, a heavy feeling in the stomach and instant exhaustion.
Isn't it insane, that even though I know this is the result of eating that stuff, I will still do it-over and over again??
Ah, yes, the good stuff. What is this good stuff of which I speak? All things that feed you, emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally. I could list hundreds of them, but to give you a short example (yours will differ) :
going on a weekend spiritual retreat
having a free weekday morning to do whatever you want
buying a really inspiring raw food/esoteric/spiritual book to sink into
booking a session of pampering (massage/ pedicure/hair/skin treatment)
rich raw choc smoothies or any of the rich raw desserts
delicious sex with the one you love
uninhibited dancing
You get the drift...
I think raw desserts can be on the list because I personally can't over indulge in them-maybe some people can and get fat (?)
But anyway, you know what the *good stuff* is for you. I think one should have them listed and make sure you give yourself permission, in fact- order yourself as your own private physician- to indulge in at least 3 per week!
What do you say?
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The Truth and Asking for Guidance
Submitted by Leila on 28 March 2011 - 11:06amThe Big Day
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| Jude |
The Truth
Anyway, now I'm re-rading the dowloaded book by Abraham, Esther and Jerry Hicks :Ask and it Is Given. Wowzer!
You have to read this book my friends. It changes how you see your life on this planet and makes you realise how you are responsible for the life you create with your thoughts.
But wait. That's not all! It even includes 20 or so exercizes to HELP you get your thoughts and therefor vibrational frequency on the right track so that you can ALLOW what is coming to you, to come.
They explain how you get what you think about the most-whether you want it-or not.
There is a great foreword by Dr. Wayne Dyer as well...
It's profound. It's beautiful. It feels TRUE. And its FREE as a download on the internet! That is the power of Love and Universal Truth.
The book is: Ask and it is Given By Abraham, Esther and Jerry Hicks. Also available through Amazon. If you want to pay for it. Of course.
The Guidance
I have been so very very quiet online, because I decided to join a course for this year called Your extRAWdinary Life with Karen Knowler. I almost can't believe I'm actually on it. I have been following her for about a year and a half, receiving her inspiring newsletter and wanting to work with her, but never being in the position to afford it.
Then, out of nowhere, I get a really easy big job over December and Karen's newsletter inviting me on this course that falls right in line with what I've been saying I need all of 2010; a guide, a coach, a mentor. She is THE ONE.
So I put money towards our holiday and the rest on investing in me becoming Extraordinarily Focused Fabulous and Effective in 2011. Good choices- I believe.
Why I love Karen so much as my mentor during this year is crystalized in one answer she gave during an interview with Kendall Summerhawk of the Money Breakthrough Method fame. Kendall asked her what she could give as her one business tip for other online entrepreneurs to succeed as fabulously as she has done in the 3-4 yrs since she launched.
Karen replied:
Keeping my connection to Source.
"I like to call God my silent partner. I ask for guidance all the time..wherever I am-even sitting in the sauna." That cemented my faith in her. Instead of tossing off something about business strategy and blah di blah that would have given no-one anything new they can't already find somewhere on the internet, she wasn't afraid to say GOD. She wasn't afraid to give all credit to a Power beyond her understanding and call herself an instrument of that Power.
Well, we are one month in and the changes in mindset are coming thick and fast. I have felt very much that I'm processing too much stuff to try to also 'give' something on my blog. But then I realised - who cares? Just diarise the progress for future research. So, enjoy the next 11 months of stuff from my extRAWdinary Life journey.
xxx
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10 Signs That You Are Creatively 'Blocked'
Submitted by Leila on 28 March 2011 - 11:02amThe Creative Block is a Myth
10 Signs That You Are Creatively 'Blocked'
1. You can't create. Anything.
2. You spend a lot of time in front of the fridge, with the door open and a glazed look on your face.
3. You spend a lot of time reading rubbish online or in magazines
4. You feel lonely, depressed and moody and eat and drink things that make you feel worse.
5. You keep looking for inspiration in other peoples brilliant work, which only proves to you how bad you really are.
1. You can't create. Anything.
2. You spend a lot of time in front of the fridge, with the door open and a glazed look on your face.
3. You spend a lot of time reading rubbish online or in magazines
4. You feel lonely, depressed and moody and eat and drink things that make you feel worse.
5. You keep looking for inspiration in other peoples brilliant work, which only proves to you how bad you really are.
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| 'Cracked' Oil and enamel on canvas |
6. You start something potentially good and scrap it not long after starting.
7. You suddenly feel OLD.
8. You decide you need a break from all creativity.
9. You leave your studio in a state of untidy, dirty, dustiness and wonder if you'll ever go back there.
10.You find yourself back in your studio, staring blankly at the beautiful stuff you have created, wondering how you could have thought it was any good.
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| 'Brimming' Oil and Enamel on canvas |
12 Ways To 'Unblock' Your Belief that you are blocked:
1. Realize that a Creative Block is a misnomer. You are not blocked, you are in Transition. This is a Metamorphosis. You are busy Shedding a Skin. This is what Transformation feels like. This is Growth.
2. See this time as an opportunity for the Divine in the Universe, to download a whole new set of insights and open up a vortex of untapped creative powerinto your psyche-and LET IT BE. By calling yourself Blocked, you will not allow it to flow through you. LET IT FLOW.
3. Understand that you are not a machine. You are a spiritual energy, housed in an earthly and organic temporary home (your body). Give yourself this timewithout resistance.
4. Decide to use this valuable 'down time' to do things you have been neglecting in other areas of your life eg, spending precious quality time with your child(ren) - and your inner child. Do kids art, play with stuff you never usually try.
5. Go on an Inspiration Exploration. Not in your chair-get out there. Go tounexplored, downtown shops, or a different mountain walk, to a different forest or park. If you are going somewhere, go a different route to your usual. Make something totally exotic from a recipe book for dinner and dress up to eat it. Dig up your old stuff you've got packed away in bags and cases (yes, we all have those). Read old diaries, look at old photo's. Dig around deep into the past that is stored away around you and LET GO some of it.
7. Realize that a Creative Block is a FANTASTIC SIGN that new material is on its way to you and that your attention is required elsewhere. You cannot watch the pot till it boils.
8. Think back to the last time you can recall feeling this way. What happened afterwards. Cool, huh?
9. Write it down. How you went from that dark place to fabulous. Yes, you did!
10. Get excited as you look forward to when your creative juices start to flow again and you're back to your studio.
11. Know this: The Life of a Creative Spiritual Being cannot be one straight and easy path of even predictable contentedness -unless you're taking Prozac. If you're honest with yourself , you know you would GO MAD with boredom!!
12. Hey, and while you are writing: make a daily note of your eating habits andclean them up. Get rid of toxic addictive stuff that you see as a treat, but your body feels as a poison. Open and clarify the passages for Divine Energy and inspiration to come through you unhindered. Get real.
12 Ways To 'Unblock' Your Belief that you are blocked:
1. Realize that a Creative Block is a misnomer. You are not blocked, you are in Transition. This is a Metamorphosis. You are busy Shedding a Skin. This is what Transformation feels like. This is Growth.
2. See this time as an opportunity for the Divine in the Universe, to download a whole new set of insights and open up a vortex of untapped creative powerinto your psyche-and LET IT BE. By calling yourself Blocked, you will not allow it to flow through you. LET IT FLOW.
3. Understand that you are not a machine. You are a spiritual energy, housed in an earthly and organic temporary home (your body). Give yourself this timewithout resistance.
4. Decide to use this valuable 'down time' to do things you have been neglecting in other areas of your life eg, spending precious quality time with your child(ren) - and your inner child. Do kids art, play with stuff you never usually try.
5. Go on an Inspiration Exploration. Not in your chair-get out there. Go tounexplored, downtown shops, or a different mountain walk, to a different forest or park. If you are going somewhere, go a different route to your usual. Make something totally exotic from a recipe book for dinner and dress up to eat it. Dig up your old stuff you've got packed away in bags and cases (yes, we all have those). Read old diaries, look at old photo's. Dig around deep into the past that is stored away around you and LET GO some of it.
'See Through Vessel' unfinished-oil and enamel on canvas
6. Buy a cheap journal and write down how you feel. All of it. Get ugly on the page. You'll release a lot of crap and you'll be able to use it later to help another creative friend sometime.7. Realize that a Creative Block is a FANTASTIC SIGN that new material is on its way to you and that your attention is required elsewhere. You cannot watch the pot till it boils.
8. Think back to the last time you can recall feeling this way. What happened afterwards. Cool, huh?
9. Write it down. How you went from that dark place to fabulous. Yes, you did!
10. Get excited as you look forward to when your creative juices start to flow again and you're back to your studio.
11. Know this: The Life of a Creative Spiritual Being cannot be one straight and easy path of even predictable contentedness -unless you're taking Prozac. If you're honest with yourself , you know you would GO MAD with boredom!!
12. Hey, and while you are writing: make a daily note of your eating habits andclean them up. Get rid of toxic addictive stuff that you see as a treat, but your body feels as a poison. Open and clarify the passages for Divine Energy and inspiration to come through you unhindered. Get real.
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| 'After Fire' Oil and enamel on canvas |
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Transformation of a Painting
Submitted by Leila on 28 March 2011 - 10:57amSo here is a first for me; The photographically captured progress oftransforming one painting into another...I decided I needed to paint over someoil and enamel on canvas paintings that I thought I loved-but that were somehow too been- there-done-that ...for me.
Please excuse bad focus. In all but the last one, I didn't use a tripod. It being a rather lengthy procedure and me being in rather a hurry to get on with painting .. : (. Learnt my lesson. Won't do that again.
" It's not about the painting-it's about the process"
I have to agree - it was thoroughly good for me. I felt excited, nervous and challenged again. I also heard my inner voice saying in a soothing way, " Don't worry-you can always paint it again. You know how to. It wasn't some kind of fluke. It's just a couple of flowers and stuff..."
I know, shocking photography. I promise to improve. I WILL use a tripodfrom now on...
I decided at this point that it was all so busy and the emphasis was more on the Left of the painting because of that lovely shaped vase-so I added a taller one to the far Right. It took two days of mulling it over to finally make my mind up andpaint over the background reds with grey blue- to make the vases stand out more.
Anyway, so the end result here is not the final painting.
If this hadn't worked, I was planning to paint the background a solid colour and no flowers. but I think it worked. I do miss the first painting. I had really loved the way some of the proteas came out. But anyway- so now its Vases. I like the way pieces of the previous painting are captured now- made special by the strong shapes that hold them. I wanted to get some depth and layers to the original painting. This is what turned up. An Escher-like trick of the eye...
Still not done. But this process sparked a quick succession of painting over paintings with see-through vessels of some kind. Will post more later.
Tell me honestly what you think. I'll be brave.
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