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The Up Side of Feeling Down

As a creative entrepreneur with a decidedly philosophical/spiritual view on Life, I'm not sure how I would have survived here (on earth) if I didn't possess these four things: meditation, a sense of humour, curiosity and hope.

If I weren't so curious to see what tomorrow may bring, filled with hope on a daily basis through meditation and couldn't laugh at myself and Life regularly - I would probably have said" cheerio world!" a long time ago.

While having one of many deep and meaningful chats with my wise mumsie of 77 years, the following - probably not new - concept dawned on me. Let's explore it here and you decide if it works for you.

I'm seeing that depression or simply feeling down, comes in cycles. The good thing is that the cycles are connected in a spiral.

Why is that a good thing? Because that means, we feel down just before we are about to move onwards and upwards. My pen-friend, Sam, once said this to me, in reply to a sorrowful email - and it lifted me instantly. Always a sure sign of A Truth.

Why do we feel down? Because, as creative beings, we thrive at the edge of our learning curve. Not on the open flat plains before we get there.

Here's an illustration:

Let's break it down.

THRIVE = to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances.

EDGE OF = the area or part away from the middle; an extremity

LEARNING CURVE = rate of learning, especially a graph of progress in the mastery of a skill

When we are not there, at the lovely, scary, thrilling edge, we are on a plateau - between the last learning curve and the one to come. Creative minds thrive on curiosity - of the new, the challenging and the unknown - when those factors seem to be out of the picture, we feel emotionally bored! Boredom for a creative mind can quickly turn to feeling low and just as quickly turn into depression.

Why is this? Because if you are anything like me, the first thing you do when you are bored is generally not the best thing for your creative soul. Instead of feeding the soul, we tend to feed the senses; Food, drink, sex, internet surfing, social websites, movies, parties, gossip, endless phone calls, sleep - to name a few. I'm sure you could add more...

Since learning this, the plateau time for me, is a time for going DEEPER. Going inside for a while, instead of racing forward. The key is knowing that you are at a going deeper stage and not simply stalling on taking action, out of fear.

"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." - Gary Zukav

In an illustrated e-book I am working on, I show you how I determine where I am at on my spiral and the ways I have found to go deeper and make the most of that time. Interested? Let me know here, and you will be one of the first to receive it. It's FREE.

Understanding that when you feel down, you are in fact on a spiral of learning that expands outwards and upwards, liberates you from feeling like you have reached the end of the road. Think galaxy in all it's star-lit beauty. It is completely natural to feel " in limbo" or "stagnant" when you are on the plateau. Just remember that progress is inevitable - as long as you keep feeding your soul.

How I deal with the plateau stage of my learning curve:

1. Accept that it is a necccessary stage on the spiral.

2. Look back at what I have learned and pass it on.

i.e. To stop feeling discouraged: Encourage others.

3. Use the time to prepare for the inevitable craziness that comes with my imminent arrival at the new edge.

4. Give thanks (find things to be grateful for) and celebrate my gains.

Isn't there a possibility that you are or could be sliding backwards down the spiral?

Yes. If you get caught up in feeding the senses. You will never be able to fulfill the needs of the spirit with things of the world. Temporary distraction, yes. Enriching fulfillment, no.

This is a capital letter Truth. Regardless of how many spiritual leaders have stated this, you already KNOW this to be true. Why? Because you ARE spirit and you KNOW what feeds you. Feeding only the senses, leads to a low quality state of mind. As Michael Neill puts it so wisely: In a low quality state of mind, you are likely to turn everything into a crisis.

Catch your thoughts from going down while you are in plateau mode. Be still, be at ease. Find a way to feel good thoughts. We are experiencing our thinking, afterall.

If you think you are only your body - then this post is not for you : )

If you are a spirit conscious creative entrepreneur and my writing speaks to you, you'll enjoy my book. Let me know if you'd like to read it. Its FREE. I'd love to share what I've learned up to now and hear back from you!

or How To Be Your Own Best Friend

"It is only when you stand in the world and wave your dream around, feeling all the while like your pants are around your ankles, that you are finally connected to your greatest power source, your vulnerability. Those scared, tender feelings are your signal that you're truly off on the right foot, because now your heart is fully engaged. And turning your dream into a business has the ability to push that button quite powerfully. For the process of starting a business is the defining stroke that somehow signals your soul - and the Universe - that you are, indeed, ready to cook."

- from Suzanne Falter-Barnes

Got your apron on? ; )

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How I Saved Myself From Certain Death by Muddy Oil Paint

I decided to stop writing 'self-help' crap and get on with it, instead : B.

(I'm liking how that B looks like my front teeth. A little large and a tad skew,or is it just me? must be getting late...)

So without further 'hunna hunna', here's what I'm working on this week:

Naive landscapes. I'm still captivated by the endless rolling stretches of boring virgin fynbos. I seem to have found a way to see delicious colour where there shouldn't be anything but green and muddy brown.

I see texture. I see pattern.... and little thingy wingy's that live in it all. And the sweetest little birds.

Loving it BIG time. I pass this mysterious contradiction on my trips to the beaches I haunt with my dogs. It's all I had for two years while living on the west coast farm.

I had to eventually S-E-E it or die in a swamp of muddy oil paint...

ANYWAY.

My e-book ' How Dreamers Get Things Done' is nearly DONE. Illustrations are being completed. Hahahahaha! Ok, NOT. They are in the ether of my creative brain awaiting landing instructions. They are there, I do promise that, hovering about my virtual TO DO list in the sky. The one that I ACTUALLY respond to. They glow and entice me with possibilities till I CANNOT resist any longer and I fall to madly scribbling and painting and eating tons of raw choc mousse again with vigor and gratitude.

BTW I have rethought my previous post on LISTS.

Something worth adding: Lists that SHOW you something. That LEAD to a new PERSPECTIVE, are the only lists worth making on paper. Wishful thinking, pain-inducing, 'I-Know-I-Really-Should-Do-This-Guck-Thing' lists, Shopping lists and 'Who's-Actually-Really-Coming-To-My-Party' etc lists? Please make them on your electronic media of choice. So they can be just as easily DELETED, discarded and forgotten.

The therapy, the sheer MAGIC of writing out in long hand, is to be kept for lists of the TRANSFORMATIONAL ilk.

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Things are about to change in a BIG way.

And that's a good thing.

For me:

We move house (yet again!!) I have moved house approximately every 1.5 yrs since my birth.

Even when going to the same school as a kid - my mom moved to 5 different homes in the same TOWN!!

My 21 yr old son leaves the country for foreign shores. *be still my beating heart*

My 8 yr old goes to school for the first time this year.

I launch a few GOOD MILESTONE things.

For YOU too; Things are going to CHANGE. You just don't know it yet. Or maybe you do.

That's LIFE my lovely You-kins...

We can choose to resist it or flow with it. But CHANGE it will.

Why not just go with it?

(oh dear, I feel a 'self-help crap' attack coming on! I can't help it!!)

Resistance and Non-resistance:

I was thinking about this in relation to an AWFUL experience I once had with someone.

I felt I could have responded in a far better way than I had.

My reaction was ‘normal’ considering the situation – but I know that I know better!

And I want to LIVE according to what I know.

I know intellectually that resisting something only makes it stronger.

That resistance to life is fear of losing control.

I know that I only have control over my own attitude: my thoughts and emotions about a thing.

When I am aligned with Life – it feels good. When I resist – it feels bad.

I thought about the incident I had experienced. A verbal attack, that seemed to me totally illogical and totally unexpected. I was in shock afterwards. I could feel a part of me trying to stay calm, even though I was shaking.

I withdrew before I could say anything too damaging back, in defense of my ego, that I might regret.

I went for a walk to calm down... thinking over and over about what had been said. How it had been said. Countering everything in my head with words I hadn’t spoken. Saying worse things to the person in my mind, than I could ever have said aloud. Then I stopped.

I recognized that I was heading down a spiral of anger and negativity that was not going to end up in a good place for me.

I looked around at nature in all it’s simple beautiful neutral honesty.

The sky, so open, eternal and serene. The trees, so calm and dependable. The birds, so optimistic and busy.

I imagined the situation as it could have been, had I been aligned with my true INNER nature. We are that essence we feel in NATURE, just in human form, after all.

I concluded that how I had reacted was -

DIRECTLY related to my self image and my fear of how my self image would be affected...

I replayed the whole scene in my mind, but this time with me coming from this ETERNAL state of being. How would I have responded if I hadn't felt threatened, defensive and angry?

I sat under a tree and allowed myself to really feel what it would be like to move through the same situation again, but as an observer. It was hard at first, because the first thing I want to do when something unpleasant has happened, is to forget it as quickly as possible.

I reminded myself that we are all souls. When I imagine that this is what we really are - beyond the trappings of the body - I am immediately filled with love and connectedness to everyone else.

I feel safe and limitless and indestructible.

I saw myself listening to the other person with this feeling in my whole being.

Instantly, it was as if I saw their vulnerability for a change. I could feel their insecurity and feel their sadness. It didn't matter WHY. It didn't matter WHAT. It just was.

I felt myself soften inside. My heart was melting. I could see no need to defend myself. Instead I saw the need for love and compassion.

It felt as if I had actually made peace with that person already.

This change in me stopped my mind from rehashing the words that had been spoken and I quietened down inside.

Miraculously, this seemed to affect the other person too. When I saw them a few hours later, the aggression had dissipated like mist in the sunlight.

Neither of us felt the need to 'save face' or 'punish' the other for the incident. You know, all that twisted stuff we do to one another...yes, no matter how lovely we think we are, WE ALL DO SOME TWISTED STUFF in the name of righteous self-preservation. Vomit.

Lovely sunshine sister and brother, I tell you something TRUE; It was Not So in this case. It was all gone.

I just felt glad to be passed it.

And strangely, so did they.

Love to YOU : B

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A Recipe For Happiness

"Creative Currency is about the home spun, hand made, path each of us crafts as we develop in our creative careers. The path that no-one really talks much about. The way we live inside. The way we feed our souls and how that in turn enlightens the way we experience creativity, money, food and relationships. It is a metaphysical recipe book – a rich blend of soul food, real food and creativity. It is also an invitation to take the journey with me and do some of what I have done or am doing - for your own knowing.

I believe that there is tremendous untapped value in what we can learn from each other. We can only benefit and enrich ourselves and our experiences of life, by sharing." - From 'How Dreamers That Get Things Done' by Leila Fanner

******************************************

I realised today, just how much easier it is to think that something is true than to actually LIVE as if it is.

This is especially true for the world we live in now.

We are blessed to be alive during a time in which the mainstream of humanity seems to be waking up to the reality of an 'inner' life. A part of our human experience that has nothing to do with the material and everything to do with thought energy, spirit and intuition.

Hearing or reading wise words should not be confused with knowing, however.

It would be delusional for us to think that now, having read that great book, watched that mind blowing video, our actions will be different and all the better for having discovered it. We know nothing for sure, until that truth has been actualized in our lives. We may have seen something new - but nothing has changed. If we haven’t lived it, we don’t know it. Despite how good it temporarily makes us feel, we are in fact, no wiser than before.

For instance; we all know that worry is futile. No amount of worrying over a situation ever made it better. Most of us know at least one good quote about the futility of worrying. Yet, our default mode is to start worrying like we're being paid for it, the minute a potential problem rears it’s head! Hours of creative energy is put to use in coming up with detailed visualizations of the worst case scenario and the awful results thereof. To what end?

I came to the conclusion a while back, that in order to change the habit of worry, I actually had to experience Not Worrying. I needed to start thinking differently about something that I would normal worry like crazy about. Only then, on reflection, I could look back with some perspective and see from experience, whether or not worry helped or hindered the outcome.

Well, it worked. Many times over! I resolved to live like that from then on. I now have my own personal knowledge that Not Worrying helps situations resolve themselves. Like Magic!

Try it!

Write down a list of things you worry about.

It may look like this:

Seriously?? If your Worry List looks like this you've got another thing to worry about - like getting a decent notepad, babe!

Get lists done neatly in a dedicated place - on your electronic device of choice - but preferably ON PAPER. As Oprah once said: There is MAGIC in writing things down.

Pen and Ink, people, don't be scared of good old pen and ink! Get these things done in an orderly way or they may as well stay in chaos in your head, for all the good those scraps of paper will do you.

Next to each worry write any action you CAN take. Then resolve to 'Not Worry' about those things on your list that you have no control over.

Then, write a list of 50 things (yes, FIVE OH) that you CAN do something about. Go ahead....

OMG! Doesn't that feel gooooood? And if you are a creative bunny like me- that list will turn into an action plan which will turn into goals and eventually...a neat little Recipe for Happiness !

Try it sometime...

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I'm Getting Personal

Actually, it's always personal - what am I saying?? About my direction at the moment- in case you're interested.

A couple of things:

1. I am on the 3rd day of a Green Smoothie/Green Juice cleanse. I have to say the word cleanse really doesn't make sense - whenever I do this it feels like a feast, a celebration and a return to feeling Friggin Amazing!

My two current Goddesses of Green; Tera Warner of the famous WISH SUMMIT talks and Kris Carr of 'Crazy Sexy Diet' are the women I lean on for inspiration when I do this. Tera is actually running a F*R*E*E! 3 Day Detox where she coaches you along with emails and recipe's etc. Check it out HERE. She is so adorable and honest - like a universal sister.

I am going to tell you why I do this regularly and what I LOVE so much about a High Raw diet for it's effect on my creativity/relationship/PMS/state of mental health and MORE ...in my E Book - that's also FREE as you may know by now.

It''s not all about food, obviously...as you can see on my new blog heading it's about the Inner Creative Journey: ART +SOUL+SAVVY : Creative Currency. I'll enlarge on the concept in my next post.

If you haven't already -let me know HERE if you wanna get my FREE book when it's done : )

Just off the top of my happy head about FOOD:

Our BIGGEST health and wellness problem is that we suffer from inflammation. ALL OF US.

Acidic diets, stress, voluntary intake of toxins like nicotine and caffeine, over-cooked foods, high intake (especially in SA!) of animal flesh - ALL lead to a highly acidic state of pH in the body, leading to a breading ground in our digestive tracts for fungal infestation and a host of other grotty things that all lead to cancerous growth acceleration.

Basically, if you fart, burp, feel sluggish in the morning or before your next cup of coffee. Drink or smoke. Battle to lose weight, have allergies or concentration problems, lack of enthusiasm for life and obscene cravings for certain types of food. YOU NEED TO TRY THIS. That's all I'm saying.

ONE day alone on a utterly delicious menu of Green Juices ( read: liquid sunshine) will put you in such a heavenly state both physically and mentally, that you will WANT to stick to it for longer. Karen Knowler has a page on FB called I Went Raw For A Day - just read what people say on there. It's magical - truly. Kris Carr has put her SARCOMA CANCER in remission on a high raw diet. Get tissues handy - her story makes you cry. Watch a trailer for her movie HERE.

2. I finally pulled the bulk of the content for my book together last weekend! So happy and proud of me (kisses for me xxxx)

I had a lovely response from all of you wanting to read it - thank you ( kisses for you xxxx) and I think that coupled with not charging for it ( which has been a bit of a heart/mind dance for me) I suddenly felt the full-on enthusiasm, flow of words and bigger picture that I needed to get it out in full. I got the energy I needed and freedom to go ahead and Just DO it!

So thanks again all of you kind lovelies. Each one of you will be a contributor to this book - if you wish to be. Full details when you receive it. If you haven't yet - let me know if you want it.

3. I 'met' one of my readers Rose Mc Clement via Twitter -

just as I was about to toss in the towel with the whole Twittersphere

(takes waaaay too much time to read everything)

although most of it is really good content - if you follow fabulous people ; )

Rose and I connected immediately and she has asked me to do an interview for her lovely blog -The Design Tabloid.

So cool! I am obviously head-over heals with all things to do with design, so I look forward to that. My interview will be coming soon, but hop over to her blog and check it out so long ...

4. And now....(drumroll) : A very deeply personal, and (as yet unedited) piece from my book.

This is about GETTING REAL:

"That evening at home, I looked at myself in the mirror and ‘saw’ something that made me so sad. I knew that if I carried on this way I would end up crazy or suicidal. I was simply not getting REAL. Being quite frankly, unable to accept where I was – career wise, physically and emotionally – I hid my truth. I kept myself busy. Hectic. Soooo busy. But, worst of all - I told myself stories...

About other peoples lives. About their opinions of me; what they thought about me, what they said about me. In all the scenarios I was somehow the victim. Even the stories where I tried to be the one that came out on top! It was still a victim/perpetrator scenario. There was always a winner and a loser.

I blocked out MY TRUTH, for fear of what it would do to me to accept where I was in comparison to others. None of the stories were true or good or even logical!

I desperately wanted change, but I couldn’t see a way out of my present situation, because I wasn’t even present in my own life.

I stood in front of my mirror and told my reflection out LOUD, everything that I was ashamed to admit about my short-comings from the ‘worlds’ perspective of success. I said the hardest truth’s over and over and over again to myself. Looking my brown eyes squarely in the middle - I faced My TRUTH.

Then I felt something happen around the muscles inside my chest. A tickling sensation that rippled through me in a giggle. I laughed in surprise when I heard myself laugh. Eventually I was leaning on the side of the basin, laughing like I had only really done with close friends or family – ridiculous, big-tooth laughter, tears streaming, crazy-funny laughter...

I understood instantly that I was my only judge and juror. From then on my thoughts were going to be my worst enemy or my best friend. I got to decide which.

I felt such relief. And awe at how easy it was to let go. The joyful abandonment of someone who has no pretences to hold on to, no 'them' to run a race with, no world of critical eyes to ward off. As tears ran down my glowing cheeks, my skew front tooth sparkled at me and I saw mySELF as beautiful – for the first time in my life."

How real is YOUR thinking? Have you faced your icky, not so pretty truth and got over it? If you feel like sharing - it makes the circle cozier when you do. xxx

love

Leila

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More From My Book

After the birth of my second son, Jude, at the age of 33, I kind of slowly woke up to the truth. That I was an ARTIST and embarrassed to admit it!

Having had the great blessing of meeting and marrying an exceptionally creative man who both supported and understood my creative drive, I finally stopped running from art. While on maternity leave from my Big Corporate Job, I contemplated my options and dug up my fears.

Within a circle of blossoming friendships with a number of women artists at the time, I was easily encouraged through the first wobbly years of finding my artist soul again. I formulated a consultancy proposal to offer my company in order to free myself from the cushy employment as an (ironically titled) Art Director. This way, I would still receive a retainer, but have more time to explore art and be a real mother to both my inner child and my real life children.

I have spent more than a decade now as an artist. Through the years, I have regularly found myself in the position of informally coaching and encouraging other artists; writers, painters, actors or dancers in a similar state of unhappy denial, to allow themselves uncover and recover their creative spirits.

What I discovered through helping others, was that my mindset had changed. The way I thought about, spoke about and acted on my deepest beliefs about art, had lead me through a personal TRANSFORMATION. This book is how that happened.

Disclaimer: I am not a trained counselor or therapist so I can't psychoanalyze you into succeeding creatively. This is a personal handbook of tools I found along the way in life that helped me to rediscover inspiration for a thriving creative life. Basically, it's How To Be Your Own Best Friend.

These tools helped me recover my dying creativity, undo the thinking patterns that were sabotaging progress and use them successfully in both work and relationships.

Naming the Un-nameable

In my book I use the term The Universe, as a non-threatening means to describe the indescribable living energy or power that permeates this world. Another lovely term is The Great Mystery or The Universal Power. This is, to me, the source of all that is inspired and transcendent, spiritual and unfathomable or magic in this world. It is not required that you believe this too, that you be religious or follow some spiritual path to succeed creatively or even in order to use these tools. However, a sense of open mindedness to the concept of something greater than yourself is almost a necessity.

To accept that “It”cannot readily be explained but that one can gain access to “It” in the stillness of one's Being, is essential in any form of creative endeavor. If we wish to find something original, unexpected and new in the process, we need to go back to the openess of a child, expecting wonder around every corner.

How life's lessons helped me to do that, is what this book is about.

You Know The Truth

Essentially, these tools are within your life right now. You do not need more knowledge. You just need to recognise what you alread know. How to gain access to this KNOWING and use it, is hopefully what I can guide you towards.

Julia Cameron says it so well in the The Artists Way; “What we are talking about is a creative energy. God is useful shorthand for many of us, but so is Goddess, Mind, Universe, Source and Higher Power. The point is not what you name it. The point is that you try using it. For many of us, thinking of it as a form of spiritual electricity has been a very useful jumping-off place.”

Whatever your age or path in life, whether you intend to become a full time artist or just want to be more creative in your current situation - you are never too old, and it is never too late to THRIVE creatively.

Next Week: The 3 Primary Tools for Understanding and Undoing Creative Blocks

See you then...

Leila

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